Who Am I?

Well this is day one of the blog - of some sort of crazy journal for me to keep. I'm so inconsistent with journal writing; the actually sitting down, getting out a pen and writing out my day. I'm hoping that this will be a concrete way to journal my feelings, my experiences, and of course, my new adventures!

It's Monday, August 22, 2011. I turned 19 yesterday, but can't shake the feeling that I am still 12... I don't seem to be ready for this step in life, this strange growing up, moving out, moving on. All through the public schooling system days (K-12) I've looked forward to the day when I can be out on my own, taking in new things, experiencing the world. I've made big plans and accomplished big goals to get there, but now that it is here, I find myself drifting back to preschool. Miss Billy's preschool class, a class of shapes and numbers, the alphabet and learning to share. A class with both snack time and lunch time, homemade chicken noodle soup, saltine crackers, and graham crackers in milk. Counting calories didn't exist, and you ran just because you wanted to experience so much in one day, that you had to run everywhere.

What happened to that confident young girl? What happened in my life to leave me feeling so vulnerable and unsure now, so scared of what might come. Sure I have gone through my own fair share of trials, stumbles in the road, but I have always gotten back up and dusted off my knees and kept going.

So here I am now, only hours away from boarding a plane that will take me to a new life. A whole new experience in a lifestyle that is completely foreign to me. I'm not sure how to live alone, or how to be myself on my own...Thinking about it, I can be anyone I want to be out there... Who am I?
My best friend Kylee said last night.. when you can be anyone you want to be,, when you are surrounded by people who are new to you, who know nothing about you, and you can be anyone.... you find your true self.

So I ask myself now... Who Am I?

Wish Me Luck.